Springbok Anthem 2007 II

THE SPRINGBOK ANTHEM 2007

CHORUS:

Oh, oh, oh, oh, the Springboks

They're lightning, they're agile, yeah they're solid as rocks

While singing the anthem we all might shed a tear

But bring on the English coz the Springboks are here!

 

…Up front there's CJ, and there's Os and John Smit

…Yes they'll be pumped up from the very first hit

Every" "Touch, pause, engage!" - Will inspire them with rage

And the English front row will submit

CHORUS

We got a Blou Bulle second row pair

Yes it's a combo that's beyond compare

From the Bull Ring of Hatfield - Bakkies Botha and Matfield

They're the kings of the ball in the air

And then there's Burger and Smith and Rossouw

Yes, they're our fetching and fighting back row

In the rucks and the mauls -Yeah these boys have the balls

To make sure that the next phase can flow

CHORUS

 

We got a midfield of Butch, Jacque and Steyn

Yes we'll inflict on the Pommies much pain

And with our whiplike attack - Jonny Wilko will crack

And his kicking will go down the drain

And then there's Fourie du Preez as our scrummie

Oh he can kick, dart or sell one a dummy

Yes he's the world number one - At the base of the scrum

And at crossing the line on his tummy

Our left wing is someone called Bryan

Whose forte is low-level flying

His side step and ducking - Leaves opponents just kakking

And that's when he's not even trying

CHORUS:

And then to counter the in-ter-cept king

…There stands JP on the o-ppo-site wing

Yes, he's so young and in-spired - He never gets tired

Gives our backline its scorpion sting

And Monty our veteran fullback

With his highlights, he cops all the flak

But his highlight for me - Is his consistency

And his calmness when under attack

CHORUS:

And not forgetting our boys on the side

They're still a wave in our green and gold tide

Oh yeah the awesome Jake White - With his flair and insight

Win or lose - fills our nation with pride!

Yes now the battle is over and done

Aha - the English have turned tail and run

Mister Smit and his team – they've returned with a dream

Yes our brilliant young Springboks have won!

CHORUS:

Oh, oh, oh, oh the Springboks

They're lightning, they're agile, yeah they're solid as rocks

Yes now the anthem is over, the flag is unfurled

Coz we're champions of Paris – we're Kings of the World!

We're champions of Paris – we're Kings of the World!

We're champions of Paris – we're Kings of the World!

lyrics © Paul Murray 2007

Music: Sven Goldin

Arrangement: Sven Goldin

Recorded: November 2007

Paris Studios Fish Hoek

 

 

Thanks to:

Sven from Paul and Paul from Sven for the experience and to Paris for the jol doing this thing, to Jake White, John Smit and the Springboks for making us so darn proud again, to Jacob Zuma, Thabo Mbeki and Eskom for all engaging equally in the South African power struggle, God, Goddess, It, The Great Achitect of the Universe, Wakan-Tanka, prana, absolutely nothing at all (if Richard Dawkins is to be believed), the Japanese for inventing sushi, that omnipotent being again for inventing everything else including Lucifer who should be used, like Robert Mugabe and GW Bush as a source of inspiration of how not to do things, Frank Zappa for being the single biggest inspiration in Maul's life without actually having met the dude and for ensuring that humour definitely belongs in music, everyone on the path to the point we're now at and all relationships good and bad that have helped shape the people we've become, merkaba meditation, the birds and the bees, Arno Carstens for keeping me interested in amazing local music, Alan Day for selecting the guitar I can't play yet, the first person on the planet who ever struck a chord or hummed a tune or strung some lyrics together in a rhyme, Enki and Enlil and their race of beings who most likely seeded the pair of species that eventually became men and women and by the luck of genetic engineering or the intervention of the Syrians found procreative compatibility – i.e. we made a new species when we did the horizontal bop for the very first time, Woolies for pre-packing food and taking the pips out of the fruits I like coz I'm a lazy man who still has trouble with invisible socks that my fiancée can always seem to find (I don't know why she carries them around with her ready to plant where I've already looked), my kids for teaching me things I thought I had already learned mostly patience, and finally to Karen, the best thing that ever happened to me and continues to be the best thing that happens to me every day all the time to infinity and beyond. P – Dec. 2007

KING OF POP DIES...WACKO JACKO BOWS OUT

25th June 2009 - BREAKING NEWS – MICHAEL JACKSON DIES AGED 50!

The tragic news of controversial pop-star and self-styled “king of Pop”, Michael Jackson’s death in Los Angeles has brought with it reactions of abject grief in many and little surprise in others given his eccentric and self destructive lifestyle.
Love or hate the “Peter Pan of Pop”, one could hardly ignore him, whether it was looking on dumbfounded at his physical transformation over the years from a cute black kid to the androgynous white creature he became in his latter years or simply reeling at the bizarre behaviour he exhibited for all to see – building a kids-only fairground on his sprawling LA property, dangling babies out of hotel room windows or just hanging out with precocious juveniles and monkeys. Although the latter behaviour probably pertains to many brat-pack American celebrities so let’s not judge him too harshly on that one.
Once the 911 call had been logged and emergency medical services dispatched to the eccentric singer’s home in the small hours of June 25th, he was reportedly found in a strange condition – when wasn’t he in a strange condition? one might ask.
Reports of Jackson’s injuries vary as some allege that he suffered cardiac arrest, other unconfirmed reports say he was incapacitated from food poisoning from having eaten some 12 year old nuts and a wiener while others say he was merely exhausted and had suffered a physical collapse.
“He was fine,” paramedic Buzz Mafone said after dropping the singer off at the UCLA medical centre, “until we wheeled him past the paediatric ward when he went stiff…”
Unconfirmed reports say it wasn’t cardiac arrest at all but he had a stroke in the Children’s Ward at the medical facility. A white, sticky patch on the Ward wall was recorded as Jackson’s last single release. Teeny boppers are already reportedly lapping it up.
Reports of a tiny pair of boxer-shorts taped to the pop-icon’s upper arm were not an unusual sight according to Jackson’s personal physician. “He was in rehab wearing a paedo-patch – trying to give up his habit,” the doc was heard to say.
Whatever the cause of death, and the county coroner isn’t sure on that one either issuing a statement that it could have been a variety of causal factors: Moonlight, sunshine, good times or boogie – he wasn’t sure what to blame it on exactly.
Uncertainty surrounds the actual time of death as well where the closest approximation from the office of the County Coroner places it around the time - “when the big hand was on the little hand…”
The tragedy of the event now denies the world the opportunity to have witnessed Jackson’s much-vaunted Comeback Tour in the UK, however, Manchester United manager, Sir Alex Ferguson was heard to comment upon receipt of the news that: “I’ll still be playing Giggs in August so dinnae worry!”
Similarly the Jackson Five were poised to relaunch their collective careers after Michael’s series of gigs but have now had to offer a 20% discount to Jackson 5 concert ticket holders.
Jermaine, brother of the late singer, said that they had been given a torrid time by the authorities following Michael’s death, certain issues raised - one being a knock-back from the undertaker saying that they wouldn’t accept plastic.
“As if that wasn’t bad enough,” Jermaine said, “but the EPA has cited us for planning to ‘dispose of toxic waste in a white plastic container’. Then there was the matter of the funeral itself. Michael had very specific last wishes – if he couldn’t be cremated and sprinkled into packets of Cheerios so he go through all those little assholes one last time, then he elected to have his casket carried by his best friends but the UCLA Garden of Remembrance management aren’t sure that so many six year olds would fit around the coffin…”
“Failing interment or cremation,” Jermaine went on, “Michael’s last resort would have been a burial at sea, being tossed between two buoys. He loved the idea of being surrounded by seamen.”
And the problems don’t end there: the comeback tour was an attempt by Jackson to stave off looming bankruptcy where now his bizarre assets will be auctioned off to settle his enormous debt.
Latest reports on this front confirm that Gary Glitter has made a $1m bid for the Moonwalker’s laptop although, Jermaine noted: “Bubbles isn’t really for sale. We’re looking for a good home for the ape, though – he’s very friendly, loves children and being whacked off by a white-gloved hand.” Jackson’s brother went on to say that if the auction went well, Bubbles would probably end up as the wealthiest monkey in the world after GW Bush.
The rush for memorabilia and Jackson’s many recordings has already begun and a new Mr Potato Head figure in Jackson’s image has been manufactured featuring five different removable noses. The high level of recyclable plastic following the cremation will be used to fashion Jacko Lego blocks so that kiddies can play with him for a change. And the London HQ of Madame Tussaud’s has now put in a bid to have the realistic Michael Jackson waxwork replaced with the newer plastic version “now that it’s become available”.
Crossing Over star, John Edward, the renowned mystic and celebrity has issued a statement to the press that he has already received messages from Michael from beyond and that he’s okay and in a better place. “In fact,” Edward stated, “Michael said he had met St Peter who had made him a probationary angel until he had passed his first test – making it through the Christmas bash without getting too close to the manger and baby Jesus. Michael had also met with Farrah Fawcett and had been hurt by the rumours that just because she had been ‘fucking Majors’ didn’t mean automatically that he had been ‘fucking minors’. He also poured derision on the rumours from the Heavenly choir that he had molested Casper the friendly ghost or that Farrah’s last earthly wish had been to save all the children of the world hence Michel’s sudden demise. It was all lies, Michael said – lies that had followed him to heaven.”
Whatever you may wish to believe of this man/woman/other – he was certainly imbued with talent that nobody could deny.
No matter how poor the taste of this piece (and Jacko was his own worst enemy not me or the piss-takers who came up with all the jokes); I personally loved his music, his contribution to the world of entertainment and despite it all - his chequered but brilliant legacy will live on forever.
While angel Elvis gobbles down another celestial cheeseburger and strains the sequined jumpsuit with the wings just a little more, maybe the heavenly host will be able to scrounge up a couple of needles and a yard of fabric and make Michael another glove and find a pair of trousers that actually fit him.
RIP Michael Jackson you twisted genius. (1958 – 2009)

PS - apologies to all affected by this but I don't think Michael gives a rat's ass now.

BLOG CORRECTION

Apologies to Yukio Mishima (whom I have recently discovered and) from whose work the quotation:
"Eternal is the warrior who find beauty in his wounds..." originates.
I previously attributed this to Jackie Leven who used Mishima's beautiful quote as the final line in his haunting song Main Travelled Roads (circa 1981)

I intend delving a little deeper into this talented and tragic man's work.

ZUMABABWEAN TRAGEDY (sung to the tune of BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY with apologies to Freddy Mercury)

Is this a real man?
Is this a parody?
Expecting a landslide
Well here's the reality...
Open your eyes
It's bullshit and lies
You'll see

He's a real Zulu boy
Who's into polygamy
You see it's Arms Deal Rands - in his hands
Schabir Shaik at his command
Any way the cash flows
That's where Zuma's gonna be...

Zuma - just sold a man
Yeah, his name was Schabir Shaik
The crooked dog was on the take
Come on - someone had to burn
There's no way it would be old Jacob Zee
Zuma - ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Couldn't let the charges stick
We'll have to conjure up some smoke and mirrors
Carry on, carry on
As if justice doesn't matter

Too late - Selebi's done
A partner in the crime
But he won't do any time
We've bought everybody
So long ago
But the NPA still wants my day in court
Zuma - ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
The Scorpions must die
And that way I will never be tried at all

We'll use the old Polokwane master plan
In the bush, in the bush where Mbeki is hanged - oh
While his noose is tightening everyone is watching me
Got away oh (got away oh) Got away oh (got away oh) Got away oh (got away oh) - hit the dough
Magnifico-o-o-o-o
I'm just a Zulu boy - leading the ANC
He's just a Zulu boy - showering for HIV
Sharing his dick with his menagerie
This Zuma parody
Easy bucks, easy dough - will I reap what I sow?
Ms Zille: - no you won't reap what you sow
Won't reap what you sow
Ms Zille: - no you won't reap what you sow
Won't reap what you sow
Ms Zille: - no you won't reap what you sow
Won't reap what you sow
Won't reap what you sow
Won't reap what you sow-o-o-o-o
Oh never fear, never fear, never fear - I won't go
The NPA has a loophole set aside for me, for me, for me....

See I told you I'd get off and still be the guy
Who would win this election and make you all cry!
So shady - all my dealings are shady
And I got Shaik - and I got Shaik out of jail

Justice doesn't matter
Anyone can see
Justice doesn't matter
Justice doesn't matter to me

Any way the bucks flow.....

MY VIRAL CONDITION

DAY 1.
Yes, something recently overhwelmed my indomitable physicality and turned my joints into wobbling, gnarly things (not to be confused with my wife's sculptures of the same name...) that ached and groaned as I moved, my head was a vacuous space (no, it isn't always a vacuous space - sometimes I watch rugby and yell at the TV) filled with high-expansion urethane foam and the numb semi-euphoric feeling sapped me into total inactivity. I stalled on the settee and couldn't be kick-started or jump-started or anything.
You must understand that if my wife fails to jump-start me then there is something seriously amiss.
But never fear!

DAY 2.
Virus, what virus?
Oh yeah I kicked it's arse - Disgruntled Eel (my Dimac “waihao” or nickname* follow link below) crushed the bug with the famously dangerous chicken noodle manoeuvre (and a liberal dose of all-natural immune-boosting muti).
There is nothing left of this virus to even study - that's how efficacious the chicken noodle manoeuvre actually is.
Chuck Norris wishes he could master the art of Dimac - Chuck would get fucked up just trying to put on a pair of Dimac Gi trousers...
If he even tried to read the manual that describes the chicken noodle manoeuvre, he would instantly self-destruct as the processing of the data describing this deadly move if read aloud (which is what Chuck has to do to understand things) initiates an unraveling of the human DNA that would disintegrate poor Chuck like a mango in a microwave.

With reverence








http://comics.com/monty/?DateAfter=2001-03-04&DateBefore=2008-12-23&Order=&PerPage=1&x=39&y=12&Search=VENGEFUL+COBRA


Disgruntled Eel
DIMAC practitioner

CONSPIRACY - WHAT CONSPIRACY?

I receive many emails and some concern things by concerned people and don't always go down too well.
Such as the following message from my friend, Sven, who was being politely chastised for "spamming" a friend of his with "conspiracy theory" posts:

One of my friends wrote me this - my reply follows..

I love you dearly, my friend, but please take me off your distribution list. I don't set any store by conspiracy theories and find them mildly annoying to deal with while the world goes down the tubes by means that are in plain sight and from which conspiracy theories are an unnecessary distraction.

To which Sven responded:


My dear friend,

Although much or even most of what passes as conspiracy theory could well be false, it's important
to understand that "conspiracy theory" is always the first term the establishment turns to when they want to
quickly debunk an idea which threatens them. If these ideas were harmless to them they would probably be just ignored.

I have little idea of what is really true. (Who does ?) But there's one thing I'm pretty sure is true:

That the crucial power structures operate behind the scenes and are knowingly kept top secret by the owners of the media.
What is offered to us as the actual power structure (i.e. the president, congress etc) is the trick that is used to deceive as
to the truth of from whence the strings are actually pulled. (Obama is just part of the latest stunt).

Regards
Sven

My own take:

“The means that are in plain sight” are indeed the most insidious insults of all and while I don’t specifically see myself as a conspiracy-theorist, I am certainly a sceptic and the very basis of science, as acknowledged by scientists, is founded on scepticism – questioning everything all the time until the evidence can provide “proof” which can be replicated to support the original theory that began the process.

So whether one subscribes to the belief in science or simply trusts the sense of instinct, I maintain that most people’s belief in what’s going on in the world is based, not on science, but on the mainstream version of events as promoted by the media. Anthropogenic Global Warming is one such debate, the presumed correlation between HIV and the condition that presents as AIDS is another. However, rather than conduct our own research into these matters, most people I know certainly, and a consensus of people who seem to believe everything peddled by the media, simply accept what is being printed as being based in conclusive, empirical science and beyond debate. And to question that, as Sven does in his own style, sets one up to be ridiculed or ostracised by those too idle or stupid to seek the option of “informed choice” – i.e. reading what the other side is saying as well then deciding for themselves no matter how unpopular that view may be.

If anyone out there believes that the media in this or any other country for that matter, presents a balanced view of any particular subject whether it be environmental, health-related, fiscal or whatever then I have to confess to living in an alternative reality to the one those people gobbling up the media spin occupy.
Nowhere is the argument for and against any controversial matter given a balanced airing – the generally accepted opinion is presented as the “truth” and anything else, no matter how credible the argument may be, is dismissed as folly or falsehood.
It was not that very long ago that the majority of people inhabiting this spinning blue rock believed to their cores that the planet was flat. To say otherwise was considered heresy and people were burned as witches for promoting such blasphemous talk.
Yet, we all know now that the loony fringe who were saying the Earth was a ball, were actually right on that one. Just like they were right about scurvy and pellagra and swine flu and a myriad other devastatingly sound scientific facts that turned out to be total bullshit.
This was all promoted as unwavering empirical science in the journals of the day – and one of my favourites was the crème-de-la-crème of our academia awarding the Nobel prize to a surgeon named Moniz for drilling holes into people’s crania and destroying portions of their frontal lobes either by injecting alcohol into them or by means of a sharp steel spike – the frontal lobotomy. He was recognised and lauded for his work. And while there are people out there who probably deserve a spike through the noggin, that’s hardly the point is it!

The role of people like Al Gore, who promote a series of “theoretical” data to support a cause and guilt people into changing their lifestyle because we’re “destroying the planet” and causing “sudden and possibly catastrophic climate change” is a cause for concern. Not the alleged global warming issue – no, but why Gore has made it his raison-d’être and I don’t believe for one minute it’s because he wants to be remembered as the guy who made us all aware – bollocks!
I believe that it is more likely to sway the global populace into a way of thinking that prepares us for the introduction of new technology to eventually replace the fossil-fuel driven science of the day and initiate a relatively seamless transition from one to the other while the same moguls who have raped us financially using the old stuff will be the same dudes that continue to screw us with the new stuff. But it has to be managed otherwise the global economy is likely to collapse if we switch to cleaner technology too rapidly. Well, they blew that one as well, folks if anyone has been watching the global marketplace and the fickle house of cards that our most advanced financial minds put in place to manage our money. It isn’t founded on sustainability – it is founded on greed – that’s why we’ve not been using clean, sustainable technology that’s been around for decades, centuries in some cases – because it wasn’t viable (for the good fellows selling it) even if it was viable for the planet. Now, all of a sudden, they care about the planet – puhlease!
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have both sides of the debate (which are entirely theoretical either way) and make up my own mind instead of being made to feel guilty about what I drive, what I eat and what “ my carbon-footprint” is. It’s all theoretical shite.
That’s not to say we shouldn’t be ecologically and environmentally responsible – of course we should, but to promote this in the manner that the media and the politicians do is nothing short of insulting and disingenuous. But we’re an ignorant, lazy species for the most part so why not use that approach – it works!

So if questioning this stuff and researching it further to see what’s really going on catapults me into the realm of the conspiracy-theorist then that’s where I’d rather stay than feed on the drivel that is spewed up at us on an hourly basis in the hope that it will modify collective behaviour in the world.
But the sad thing is – it does.
And it’s not hard to see why.

GEORGIE DEBRIS (with apologies to Frank Zappa)

GEORGIE DEBRIS
The Barfko man came over and he said: Let's say goodnight
He said: You're not quite ready but I've about gave up this fight!
If we were ready, willing and loyal to honor his memory
He would shuffle right out of his old mortal coil, be one with the Cozmik Debris
I said Look here, brother - won't you play one last time just for me?

The guitar man got restless and he tweaked out a couple o' licks
He turned up the amp til the stage was alight and he gave it a few hefty kicks
Now I thought I'd heard some good stuff but he played like a demon possessed
And I thought to myself: You're a league on your own. I don't give a shit for the rest!
He said: Look here, Frenchie - just remember what I tried to be.
Look here, Tipper I'll come haunt you with profanity!

I've got visions of my own, he said, so I'll watch from where I go
I'll see GW Monkey Man running his own Jackass Show
"But I've got a famous dad!" he said as he nuked Iraqi folk
So I zapped him with a guitar note and said, "George you're a fucking joke!"
I trussed a band-aid round his head, took the assholes from his eyes
Played some eighties music til I saw he was hypnotised
I changed his mind and policies, I took our freedom back
Said: "The problem's here at home, my friend - it ain't there in Iraq!"
I proceeded to ban all religion then - long as I was running the show
I said: "I just met God and guess what, George - She's black and She's ready to blow!"
He said: Please, please Frankie - don't you tell her what I tried to do...
Don't you know - you could make more money fucking sailors so why's it the voters you're trying to screw?