Paul

Paul

SMILEYSKULL

SMILEYSKULL
Half the story is a dangerous thing

DISCLAIMER

All content on this blog is the copyright © of Paul Murray (unless noted otherwise / reposts etc.) and the intellectual property is owned by him, however, the purpose of this forum is to share the content with all who dare to venture here.
The subject matter is adult in nature so those who are easily offended, misunderstand satire, or are generally too uptight to have a good time or even like who they are, it's probably a good idea to leave now.
Enjoy responsibly...

Wednesday, 27 May 2009

BLOG CORRECTION



Apologies to Yukio Mishima (whom I have recently discovered and) from whose work the quotation:
"Eternal is the warrior who find beauty in his wounds..." originates.
I previously attributed this to Jackie Leven who used Mishima's beautiful quote as the final line in his haunting song Main Travelled Roads (circa 1981)

I intend delving a little deeper into this talented and tragic man's work.

Monday, 27 April 2009

ZUMABABWEAN TRAGEDY (sung to the tune of BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY with apologies to Freddy Mercury)




Is this a real man?
Is this a parody?
Expecting a landslide
Well here's the reality...
Open your eyes
It's bullshit and lies
You'll see

He's a real Zulu boy
Who's into polygamy
You see it's Arms Deal Rands - in his hands
Schabir Shaik at his command
Any way the cash flows
That's where Zuma's gonna be...

Zuma - just sold a man
Yeah, his name was Schabir Shaik
The crooked dog was on the take
Come on - someone had to burn
There's no way it would be old Jacob Zee
Zuma - ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Couldn't let the charges stick
We'll have to conjure up some smoke and mirrors
Carry on, carry on
As if justice doesn't matter

Too late - Selebi's done
A partner in the crime
But he won't do any time
We've bought everybody
So long ago
But the NPA still wants my day in court
Zuma - ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
The Scorpions must die
And that way I will never be tried at all

We'll use the old Polokwane master plan
In the bush, in the bush where Mbeki is hanged - oh
While his noose is tightening everyone is watching me
Got away oh (got away oh) Got away oh (got away oh) Got away oh (got away oh) - hit the dough
Magnifico-o-o-o-o
I'm just a Zulu boy - leading the ANC
He's just a Zulu boy - showering for HIV
Sharing his dick with his menagerie
This Zuma parody
Easy bucks, easy dough - will I reap what I sow?
Ms Zille: - no you won't reap what you sow
Won't reap what you sow
Ms Zille: - no you won't reap what you sow
Won't reap what you sow
Ms Zille: - no you won't reap what you sow
Won't reap what you sow
Won't reap what you sow
Won't reap what you sow-o-o-o-o
Oh never fear, never fear, never fear - I won't go
The NPA has a loophole set aside for me, for me, for me....

See I told you I'd get off and still be the guy
Who would win this election and make you all cry!
So shady - all my dealings are shady
And I got Shaik - and I got Shaik out of jail

Justice doesn't matter
Anyone can see
Justice doesn't matter
Justice doesn't matter to me

Any way the bucks flow.....

Thursday, 19 February 2009

MY VIRAL CONDITION

DAY 1.
Yes, something recently overhwelmed my indomitable physicality and turned my joints into wobbling, gnarly things (not to be confused with my wife's sculptures of the same name...) that ached and groaned as I moved, my head was a vacuous space (no, it isn't always a vacuous space - sometimes I watch rugby and yell at the TV) filled with high-expansion urethane foam and the numb semi-euphoric feeling sapped me into total inactivity. I stalled on the settee and couldn't be kick-started or jump-started or anything.
You must understand that if my wife fails to jump-start me then there is something seriously amiss.
But never fear!

DAY 2.
Virus, what virus?
Oh yeah I kicked it's arse - Disgruntled Eel (my Dimac “waihao” or nickname* follow link below) crushed the bug with the famously dangerous chicken noodle manoeuvre (and a liberal dose of all-natural immune-boosting muti).
There is nothing left of this virus to even study - that's how efficacious the chicken noodle manoeuvre actually is.
Chuck Norris wishes he could master the art of Dimac - Chuck would get fucked up just trying to put on a pair of Dimac Gi trousers...
If he even tried to read the manual that describes the chicken noodle manoeuvre, he would instantly self-destruct as the processing of the data describing this deadly move if read aloud (which is what Chuck has to do to understand things) initiates an unraveling of the human DNA that would disintegrate poor Chuck like a mango in a microwave.

With reverence








http://comics.com/monty/?DateAfter=2001-03-04&DateBefore=2008-12-23&Order=&PerPage=1&x=39&y=12&Search=VENGEFUL+COBRA


Disgruntled Eel
DIMAC practitioner

Friday, 13 February 2009

CONSPIRACY - WHAT CONSPIRACY?




I receive many emails and some concern things by concerned people and don't always go down too well.
Such as the following message from my friend, Sven, who was being politely chastised for "spamming" a friend of his with "conspiracy theory" posts:

One of my friends wrote me this - my reply follows..

I love you dearly, my friend, but please take me off your distribution list. I don't set any store by conspiracy theories and find them mildly annoying to deal with while the world goes down the tubes by means that are in plain sight and from which conspiracy theories are an unnecessary distraction.

To which Sven responded:


My dear friend,

Although much or even most of what passes as conspiracy theory could well be false, it's important
to understand that "conspiracy theory" is always the first term the establishment turns to when they want to
quickly debunk an idea which threatens them. If these ideas were harmless to them they would probably be just ignored.

I have little idea of what is really true. (Who does ?) But there's one thing I'm pretty sure is true:

That the crucial power structures operate behind the scenes and are knowingly kept top secret by the owners of the media.
What is offered to us as the actual power structure (i.e. the president, congress etc) is the trick that is used to deceive as
to the truth of from whence the strings are actually pulled. (Obama is just part of the latest stunt).

Regards
Sven

My own take:

“The means that are in plain sight” are indeed the most insidious insults of all and while I don’t specifically see myself as a conspiracy-theorist, I am certainly a sceptic and the very basis of science, as acknowledged by scientists, is founded on scepticism – questioning everything all the time until the evidence can provide “proof” which can be replicated to support the original theory that began the process.

So whether one subscribes to the belief in science or simply trusts the sense of instinct, I maintain that most people’s belief in what’s going on in the world is based, not on science, but on the mainstream version of events as promoted by the media. Anthropogenic Global Warming is one such debate, the presumed correlation between HIV and the condition that presents as AIDS is another. However, rather than conduct our own research into these matters, most people I know certainly, and a consensus of people who seem to believe everything peddled by the media, simply accept what is being printed as being based in conclusive, empirical science and beyond debate. And to question that, as Sven does in his own style, sets one up to be ridiculed or ostracised by those too idle or stupid to seek the option of “informed choice” – i.e. reading what the other side is saying as well then deciding for themselves no matter how unpopular that view may be.

If anyone out there believes that the media in this or any other country for that matter, presents a balanced view of any particular subject whether it be environmental, health-related, fiscal or whatever then I have to confess to living in an alternative reality to the one those people gobbling up the media spin occupy.
Nowhere is the argument for and against any controversial matter given a balanced airing – the generally accepted opinion is presented as the “truth” and anything else, no matter how credible the argument may be, is dismissed as folly or falsehood.
It was not that very long ago that the majority of people inhabiting this spinning blue rock believed to their cores that the planet was flat. To say otherwise was considered heresy and people were burned as witches for promoting such blasphemous talk.
Yet, we all know now that the loony fringe who were saying the Earth was a ball, were actually right on that one. Just like they were right about scurvy and pellagra and swine flu and a myriad other devastatingly sound scientific facts that turned out to be total bullshit.
This was all promoted as unwavering empirical science in the journals of the day – and one of my favourites was the crème-de-la-crème of our academia awarding the Nobel prize to a surgeon named Moniz for drilling holes into people’s crania and destroying portions of their frontal lobes either by injecting alcohol into them or by means of a sharp steel spike – the frontal lobotomy. He was recognised and lauded for his work. And while there are people out there who probably deserve a spike through the noggin, that’s hardly the point is it!

The role of people like Al Gore, who promote a series of “theoretical” data to support a cause and guilt people into changing their lifestyle because we’re “destroying the planet” and causing “sudden and possibly catastrophic climate change” is a cause for concern. Not the alleged global warming issue – no, but why Gore has made it his raison-d’être and I don’t believe for one minute it’s because he wants to be remembered as the guy who made us all aware – bollocks!
I believe that it is more likely to sway the global populace into a way of thinking that prepares us for the introduction of new technology to eventually replace the fossil-fuel driven science of the day and initiate a relatively seamless transition from one to the other while the same moguls who have raped us financially using the old stuff will be the same dudes that continue to screw us with the new stuff. But it has to be managed otherwise the global economy is likely to collapse if we switch to cleaner technology too rapidly. Well, they blew that one as well, folks if anyone has been watching the global marketplace and the fickle house of cards that our most advanced financial minds put in place to manage our money. It isn’t founded on sustainability – it is founded on greed – that’s why we’ve not been using clean, sustainable technology that’s been around for decades, centuries in some cases – because it wasn’t viable (for the good fellows selling it) even if it was viable for the planet. Now, all of a sudden, they care about the planet – puhlease!
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have both sides of the debate (which are entirely theoretical either way) and make up my own mind instead of being made to feel guilty about what I drive, what I eat and what “ my carbon-footprint” is. It’s all theoretical shite.
That’s not to say we shouldn’t be ecologically and environmentally responsible – of course we should, but to promote this in the manner that the media and the politicians do is nothing short of insulting and disingenuous. But we’re an ignorant, lazy species for the most part so why not use that approach – it works!

So if questioning this stuff and researching it further to see what’s really going on catapults me into the realm of the conspiracy-theorist then that’s where I’d rather stay than feed on the drivel that is spewed up at us on an hourly basis in the hope that it will modify collective behaviour in the world.
But the sad thing is – it does.
And it’s not hard to see why.

Monday, 9 February 2009

GEORGIE DEBRIS (with apologies to Frank Zappa)





GEORGIE DEBRIS
The Barfko man came over and he said: Let's say goodnight
He said: You're not quite ready but I've about gave up this fight!
If we were ready, willing and loyal to honor his memory
He would shuffle right out of his old mortal coil, be one with the Cozmik Debris
I said Look here, brother - won't you play one last time just for me?

The guitar man got restless and he tweaked out a couple o' licks
He turned up the amp til the stage was alight and he gave it a few hefty kicks
Now I thought I'd heard some good stuff but he played like a demon possessed
And I thought to myself: You're a league on your own. I don't give a shit for the rest!
He said: Look here, Frenchie - just remember what I tried to be.
Look here, Tipper I'll come haunt you with profanity!

I've got visions of my own, he said, so I'll watch from where I go
I'll see GW Monkey Man running his own Jackass Show
"But I've got a famous dad!" he said as he nuked Iraqi folk
So I zapped him with a guitar note and said, "George you're a fucking joke!"
I trussed a band-aid round his head, took the assholes from his eyes
Played some eighties music til I saw he was hypnotised
I changed his mind and policies, I took our freedom back
Said: "The problem's here at home, my friend - it ain't there in Iraq!"
I proceeded to ban all religion then - long as I was running the show
I said: "I just met God and guess what, George - She's black and She's ready to blow!"
He said: Please, please Frankie - don't you tell her what I tried to do...
Don't you know - you could make more money fucking sailors so why's it the voters you're trying to screw?

Sunday, 25 January 2009

THE 2009 SOUTH AFRICAN ELECTIONS


Listening to Andy Rice on 702's Ad Feature, he spoke of the upcoming election and the opportunity for political parties to really create something vibrant and special with their BRAND and bring something with a hook to the campaign trail.
Remembering Obama's: YES WE CAN! catchphrase, here's the best our uninspiring political hopefuls could come up with:

ANC: WORKING TOGETHER WE CAN DO MORE

DA: ONE NATION. ONE FUTURE

UDM: NOW'S THE TIME FOR ALL SOUTH AFRICANS

And last but not least:

COPE: A NEW AGENDA FOR CHANGE AND HOPE

People - with all due respect - here's my slogan response to them:

THEY ALL SUCK

These have got to be the least imaginative and uninspiring slogans I have ever heard - the DA probably being the catchiest but that's not saying much.

What about something dynamic like;

COPE: KEEPING IT REAL
or something fast and vibey along those lines?

There is an amazing opportunity for this party to shed the skin of the old, tired political dreariness, again like Obama did - speak to the people. Keep it short. Keep it to the point. Keep it real! We are tired of all the longwinded hyperbole and hollow promises;
And how about COPE's name being part of the campaign thrust as another acronym?:

Clarity - A clear vision for the future
Objectivity - Allowing autonomy in government & NGO organs
Prosperity - A share for us all in SA's growth
Equality - For each gender and every race group

Some sketchy ideas but man oh man - what has been put together is as dull as ditchwater in my humble view!

This is an exciting time - some of that excitement should be engendered within the campaign and spread to the people COPE hope to harness.

Isn't democracy fun...

Wednesday, 21 January 2009

BARACK OBAMA - 44th PRESIDENT OF THE USA



Think what you want to but the Yanks do this ceremonial stuff even better than the Brits in my view.
In the dark old days we had that unsavoury alliance of Bush Blair - BB. Now we have the African American and the Scot or could I call them Black and Mac without offending the sensibilities of the Politically Correct analists? Bollocks to them!
And while it is most certainly naive to imagine one leader can turn the world around from its current state of despair in many quarters - war, famine, disease, financial instability, rampant bigotry, racism, ethnic cleansing, (alleged) global warming etc. Barack Obama gives one the impression that he can make that happen. His eloquence and stature, his evangelical conviction and delivery evokes within the listener (American and foreigner alike) the belief that we have truly turned a corner and the world (never mind the US) is on the path to healing.
The cynics (myself among them) would simply say - "anything after Dubya is a step in the right direction..." but Obama is inheriting a minefield from GWB as has been described above with the confidence of US citizens at an all time low. He can work that in his favour of course with his fresh approach (and ability to speak English) but it will only work for so long until he starts to deliver on his promises (or not).
The key to this potential success, in my view, is his consummate ability of including the American people in the effort by acknowledging their true potential every time he speaks and without making it sound like ersatz hyperbole (like most politicians are prone to do).
Maybe I'm just getting more sensitive as I mature (perish the thought!) but every time this dude hits the podium I feel tears welling up in my eyes because I get this feeling that Obama has entered the world stage at a point where the very consciousness of humanity has undergone a significant shift and whether we would like to acknowledge it or not, I believe the GW Bushes of this world actually helped to get us to this point even if it was by trudging down a long, hard, nasty road.
It's that old dark and light thing isn't it - how can we achieve balance if we don't have appropriate / equal proportions of both?
It isn't always the lessons imparted by the shining "leading by example" people of this world - the people of this planet have always (and I mean always) got the choice to learn from any example shown them from a drunken father to a saintly mother - whatever. It's as beneficial to see what we shouldn't be doing as it is to be going down a path behind a saint.
We need to make mistakes (hopefully not fatal ones) to learn and Obama has that concept firmly in hand.
As naive as I may be, this man inspires confidence and that mere fact alone is contagious and brings people together and with confidence comes belief and with belief comes positive action and a lot less guilt and the nett result has the potential to make us more temperate, tolerant and humane.
I like him - VIVA OBAMA
Is it true that his first policy decision will be to petition congress to have the White House painted black?
I can hear the Rolling Stones in the background as we speak!