Paul

Paul

SMILEYSKULL

SMILEYSKULL
Half the story is a dangerous thing

DISCLAIMER

All content on this blog is the copyright © of Paul Murray (unless noted otherwise / reposts etc.) and the intellectual property is owned by him, however, the purpose of this forum is to share the content with all who dare to venture here.
The subject matter is adult in nature so those who are easily offended, misunderstand satire, or are generally too uptight to have a good time or even like who they are, it's probably a good idea to leave now.
Enjoy responsibly...

Thursday 19 February 2009

MY VIRAL CONDITION

DAY 1.
Yes, something recently overhwelmed my indomitable physicality and turned my joints into wobbling, gnarly things (not to be confused with my wife's sculptures of the same name...) that ached and groaned as I moved, my head was a vacuous space (no, it isn't always a vacuous space - sometimes I watch rugby and yell at the TV) filled with high-expansion urethane foam and the numb semi-euphoric feeling sapped me into total inactivity. I stalled on the settee and couldn't be kick-started or jump-started or anything.
You must understand that if my wife fails to jump-start me then there is something seriously amiss.
But never fear!

DAY 2.
Virus, what virus?
Oh yeah I kicked it's arse - Disgruntled Eel (my Dimac “waihao” or nickname* follow link below) crushed the bug with the famously dangerous chicken noodle manoeuvre (and a liberal dose of all-natural immune-boosting muti).
There is nothing left of this virus to even study - that's how efficacious the chicken noodle manoeuvre actually is.
Chuck Norris wishes he could master the art of Dimac - Chuck would get fucked up just trying to put on a pair of Dimac Gi trousers...
If he even tried to read the manual that describes the chicken noodle manoeuvre, he would instantly self-destruct as the processing of the data describing this deadly move if read aloud (which is what Chuck has to do to understand things) initiates an unraveling of the human DNA that would disintegrate poor Chuck like a mango in a microwave.

With reverence








http://comics.com/monty/?DateAfter=2001-03-04&DateBefore=2008-12-23&Order=&PerPage=1&x=39&y=12&Search=VENGEFUL+COBRA


Disgruntled Eel
DIMAC practitioner

Friday 13 February 2009

CONSPIRACY - WHAT CONSPIRACY?




I receive many emails and some concern things by concerned people and don't always go down too well.
Such as the following message from my friend, Sven, who was being politely chastised for "spamming" a friend of his with "conspiracy theory" posts:

One of my friends wrote me this - my reply follows..

I love you dearly, my friend, but please take me off your distribution list. I don't set any store by conspiracy theories and find them mildly annoying to deal with while the world goes down the tubes by means that are in plain sight and from which conspiracy theories are an unnecessary distraction.

To which Sven responded:


My dear friend,

Although much or even most of what passes as conspiracy theory could well be false, it's important
to understand that "conspiracy theory" is always the first term the establishment turns to when they want to
quickly debunk an idea which threatens them. If these ideas were harmless to them they would probably be just ignored.

I have little idea of what is really true. (Who does ?) But there's one thing I'm pretty sure is true:

That the crucial power structures operate behind the scenes and are knowingly kept top secret by the owners of the media.
What is offered to us as the actual power structure (i.e. the president, congress etc) is the trick that is used to deceive as
to the truth of from whence the strings are actually pulled. (Obama is just part of the latest stunt).

Regards
Sven

My own take:

“The means that are in plain sight” are indeed the most insidious insults of all and while I don’t specifically see myself as a conspiracy-theorist, I am certainly a sceptic and the very basis of science, as acknowledged by scientists, is founded on scepticism – questioning everything all the time until the evidence can provide “proof” which can be replicated to support the original theory that began the process.

So whether one subscribes to the belief in science or simply trusts the sense of instinct, I maintain that most people’s belief in what’s going on in the world is based, not on science, but on the mainstream version of events as promoted by the media. Anthropogenic Global Warming is one such debate, the presumed correlation between HIV and the condition that presents as AIDS is another. However, rather than conduct our own research into these matters, most people I know certainly, and a consensus of people who seem to believe everything peddled by the media, simply accept what is being printed as being based in conclusive, empirical science and beyond debate. And to question that, as Sven does in his own style, sets one up to be ridiculed or ostracised by those too idle or stupid to seek the option of “informed choice” – i.e. reading what the other side is saying as well then deciding for themselves no matter how unpopular that view may be.

If anyone out there believes that the media in this or any other country for that matter, presents a balanced view of any particular subject whether it be environmental, health-related, fiscal or whatever then I have to confess to living in an alternative reality to the one those people gobbling up the media spin occupy.
Nowhere is the argument for and against any controversial matter given a balanced airing – the generally accepted opinion is presented as the “truth” and anything else, no matter how credible the argument may be, is dismissed as folly or falsehood.
It was not that very long ago that the majority of people inhabiting this spinning blue rock believed to their cores that the planet was flat. To say otherwise was considered heresy and people were burned as witches for promoting such blasphemous talk.
Yet, we all know now that the loony fringe who were saying the Earth was a ball, were actually right on that one. Just like they were right about scurvy and pellagra and swine flu and a myriad other devastatingly sound scientific facts that turned out to be total bullshit.
This was all promoted as unwavering empirical science in the journals of the day – and one of my favourites was the crème-de-la-crème of our academia awarding the Nobel prize to a surgeon named Moniz for drilling holes into people’s crania and destroying portions of their frontal lobes either by injecting alcohol into them or by means of a sharp steel spike – the frontal lobotomy. He was recognised and lauded for his work. And while there are people out there who probably deserve a spike through the noggin, that’s hardly the point is it!

The role of people like Al Gore, who promote a series of “theoretical” data to support a cause and guilt people into changing their lifestyle because we’re “destroying the planet” and causing “sudden and possibly catastrophic climate change” is a cause for concern. Not the alleged global warming issue – no, but why Gore has made it his raison-d’être and I don’t believe for one minute it’s because he wants to be remembered as the guy who made us all aware – bollocks!
I believe that it is more likely to sway the global populace into a way of thinking that prepares us for the introduction of new technology to eventually replace the fossil-fuel driven science of the day and initiate a relatively seamless transition from one to the other while the same moguls who have raped us financially using the old stuff will be the same dudes that continue to screw us with the new stuff. But it has to be managed otherwise the global economy is likely to collapse if we switch to cleaner technology too rapidly. Well, they blew that one as well, folks if anyone has been watching the global marketplace and the fickle house of cards that our most advanced financial minds put in place to manage our money. It isn’t founded on sustainability – it is founded on greed – that’s why we’ve not been using clean, sustainable technology that’s been around for decades, centuries in some cases – because it wasn’t viable (for the good fellows selling it) even if it was viable for the planet. Now, all of a sudden, they care about the planet – puhlease!
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have both sides of the debate (which are entirely theoretical either way) and make up my own mind instead of being made to feel guilty about what I drive, what I eat and what “ my carbon-footprint” is. It’s all theoretical shite.
That’s not to say we shouldn’t be ecologically and environmentally responsible – of course we should, but to promote this in the manner that the media and the politicians do is nothing short of insulting and disingenuous. But we’re an ignorant, lazy species for the most part so why not use that approach – it works!

So if questioning this stuff and researching it further to see what’s really going on catapults me into the realm of the conspiracy-theorist then that’s where I’d rather stay than feed on the drivel that is spewed up at us on an hourly basis in the hope that it will modify collective behaviour in the world.
But the sad thing is – it does.
And it’s not hard to see why.

Monday 9 February 2009

GEORGIE DEBRIS (with apologies to Frank Zappa)





GEORGIE DEBRIS
The Barfko man came over and he said: Let's say goodnight
He said: You're not quite ready but I've about gave up this fight!
If we were ready, willing and loyal to honor his memory
He would shuffle right out of his old mortal coil, be one with the Cozmik Debris
I said Look here, brother - won't you play one last time just for me?

The guitar man got restless and he tweaked out a couple o' licks
He turned up the amp til the stage was alight and he gave it a few hefty kicks
Now I thought I'd heard some good stuff but he played like a demon possessed
And I thought to myself: You're a league on your own. I don't give a shit for the rest!
He said: Look here, Frenchie - just remember what I tried to be.
Look here, Tipper I'll come haunt you with profanity!

I've got visions of my own, he said, so I'll watch from where I go
I'll see GW Monkey Man running his own Jackass Show
"But I've got a famous dad!" he said as he nuked Iraqi folk
So I zapped him with a guitar note and said, "George you're a fucking joke!"
I trussed a band-aid round his head, took the assholes from his eyes
Played some eighties music til I saw he was hypnotised
I changed his mind and policies, I took our freedom back
Said: "The problem's here at home, my friend - it ain't there in Iraq!"
I proceeded to ban all religion then - long as I was running the show
I said: "I just met God and guess what, George - She's black and She's ready to blow!"
He said: Please, please Frankie - don't you tell her what I tried to do...
Don't you know - you could make more money fucking sailors so why's it the voters you're trying to screw?