THE PSYCHICK CHRONICLES

PRANA (*Psychic Repairs And Naturally Affordable)



PRANA is a small institute run and owned by a talented medium by the name of Claire Voyant.

PRANA is simply an Energy Management Centre and offers all manner of psychic healing and balancing, connections with lost loved ones and the odd (very odd) house-call involving exorcism of those chicken-hearted spirits who wouldn’t move to the spirit realm – poultrygeists.The institute offers a one-stop service with guest gurus appearing on demand – the bookings are done through PRANA - naturally.

CLAIRE VOYANT

 ....the psychick... Claire Voyant: Mystic, psychic and crystal gazer. Claire is a non-denominational seer who believes that GOD is an acronym for: Gift Of Divinity. And any way that you access that is just fine by her. If you choose to do it through her it will be via her crystal sphere which was given to her by an ancient South American shaman Juan Tin Gonsavez. Her crystal ball is called Orb (Oracle Reading Ball) and like the sacred crystal skulls around the world, Orb also has the memory of its lifetimes. She looks into it and sees her visions through a mystical pool – and as it is a pool within crystal, I guess this would have to be a type of  mineral water which explains why it’s sold in quarts(z).

DOGMA

A cat called Dogma. Claire's faithful familiar (her Psychick sidekick) who was a Zen priest in a previous incarnation. Now he's got these 9 lives to run through and then he'll be on to something new. This incarnation however, is pretty much about contemplation (of the rear of his eyelids) and shedding. He has great difficulty with the meat that Claire gives him because his cellular memory still insists that he's a vegetarian who should have a different haircut. Oh well, there's always the next lesson...

LOU ZEPHYR

Who, of course has been made redundant by the goings on of the human race. No more career prospects, you understand. What a state of affairs - Lou Zephyr on welfare! Now he's relying on the benevolence of the human race for his well - or should that be pit-being? Whatever...

He’s constantly being hounded by a pair of inept demons to return to The Pit or TP.

This terminology is very confusing for the American Indian masters – tipi to them was always a home but not one that had that degree of central heating.

PHYRE & BRYMMSTONE

Phyre  (the big guy) is just one of those poor lost souls forever damned to stoke the furnaces of TP and just wants to get through his 9 – 5 so he can soak his aching feet in a soothing lava bath and sip on a sulphur shake. But he’d really love to get the boss back to show him how to operate all those fiddly thingeys on the main furnace.

He’d be less motivated to do this if it wasn’t for the incessant badgering of that gremlin demon on his shoulder – yep, you guessed it – that’s:

BRYMMSTONE

For someone so small, this guy’s a handful – I mean literally – he’s only about as big as your hand. But because Phyre is such a sap, Brymmstone eggs him on to deeds most fiendish. Brymmstone is that irritating little punk in the bar who always makes trouble with everyone else when there’s a big guy around to protect him. He doesn’t really care if Lou comes back or not – there’s always troubling brewing at TP so there’s plenty to do…

THE CELESTIAL CRISIS CALL CENTRE (C4)

Then there are the various ascended guides floating about the upper dimensions, notably the residents of the Celestial Crisis Call Centre (or C4) who boast 2 fulltime – 24-7 Celestial Crisis Call Centre Counsellors (C5's):

BLERIEL

The fallen angel, oft-time drunk and much-time snoozing cherubic slob. Who said it was over when you got there - these guys are still learning too ain't they? Bleriel is battling to hold down the job and his advice can be pretty offbeat I can tell you. Bleriel is always for making a deal with souls in need. (Hey - this is show business!) You want him to show then let's do business! - there's gotta be an energetic exchange right? So you send Bleriel a bottle or two of bourbon and he'll show you the signs in the sky. It makes for interesting souls-in-need / angel relationships. Sorta like: Buy a Touched Angel.

HIYAIMEL

The Braveheart (Seraphim) of angels who is always covering for the inept Bleriel - why? coz he loves him that's why. He is disdainful of Bleriel's activities but who needs that judgement thing - that's the Big Guy's deal. What can I say - he just can't help himself.

Hiyaimel runs C4 and all trainee C5’s are taken under his wing (so to speak). Hiyaimel isn’t much into the harp and halo brigade with his silver sword of protection. He’s had to get an unlisted number to avoid all the swoony crank calls from young ladies needing to have their souls saved…

RUNNING BARE

The ascended Blackfoot shaman who kind of ascended whilst in the throes of orgasm so he stalks the Happy Hunting Ground buck naked. If you ask him to show - boy does he show it all! And Blackfoot, naturally - so would yours be if you spent eternity running around barefooted.

SAM GOMA

The portly African witch doctor who does guest bone-throwing readings every second Friday at the PRANA HQ. For some reason, Sam makes Lou very nervous - maybe Mr Zephyr recognises the remains of someone he had for dinner in other realms when he sees Sam throwing the bones - who knows?