COMPLAINT FROM DOWN UNDER - CRASH AND BYRNE

Wicked Lou's Archive:


You can't get much more down under than a mine down under unless you were engaged in cunnilingus in a mine down under in which instance you would be going down underground down under...if you get my drift.

Here follows the digruntlement of one mine employee who vents his spleen at a well-known Japanese motor manufacturer whose name, when said in a funny accent (like that of the Australians [Strines]) NISSAN MAIN DEALER phonetically almost becomes NELSON MANDELA.

Is that pure coincidence, you reckon, or is there some form of phonetic conspiracy aimed at undermining (pardon the pun) our erstwhile president by cheaply associating his magnificence with this vehicle manufacturer whose service delivery (unlike Madiba's) can be highly questionable. If Mr Byrne's diatribe is anything to go by...that is.

And what reason would we have to question the integrity of our rugby-playing chinas from dahn unda?
______________________________________________
JARROD BYRNE
UNDERGROUND MAINTENANCE PLANNER
BOUNTY GOLD MINE, MT HOLLAND
FORRESTANIA, WESTERN AUSTRALIA
TEL (090) 394 527 FACSIMILE (090) 394 528

NISSAN MOTOR CO (AUSTRALIA) PTY. LTD

C/O 244 WELSHPOOL RD, WELSHPOOL

W.A. 6106

ATTENTION: MR NEVILLE GREEN, GENERAL MANAGER - NATIONAL PARTS

Dear Sir,

I would like to bring to your attention some serious faults in Nissan Motor Co. in regard to parts availability, lead times and pricing.

Currently at this mine we have a Nissan W40 civilian bus that we cannot use to transport staff to and from the mine. The reason this bus is not operational is not labour or condition related, it is because of a denial on the part of yourself and Nissan Motor Co. to adequately supply your clientele with parts. I give you the example of the following items:

ITEM PART NUMBER QUANTITY BEGGED FOR

Nut NI-01211-00221 10

Washer NI-40208-82100 10

Seal-oil NI-48252-32100 2

Wheel rim NI-40800-99071 2

Drum brake NI-40206-T8100 2

Hub bolt NI-40222-J5625 10

Brake shoes NI-43060-T9627 1

Nut NI-40224-J5610 10

Nut NI-48226-J5610 10

Of these I tried to purchase, only 3 are available in WA. It stretches the bounds of credulity that items such as wheel nuts (a consumable in most of the known world) are available with a lead time of 4 days Ex-East. What resoundingly snaps the bounds of credulity clean in half, is that items such as brake shoes are Ex-Japan (6 weeks).

I cannot deny the effectiveness of these components, they not only slow the bus down, they have the ability to stop it stone fucking dead for 6 weeks!

I didn't even bother enquiring availability on such complicated parts such as washers etc. - the only washers in stock would be-washer? Wind fuck out of this customer and tell him it's Ex-East. (Can't say I follow that last sentence but plunge on - Lou)

On the rare occasion we have been delivered parts within an acceptable time period, they have been entirely wrong. It is not that the wrong parts are ordered, it is that some of your parts interpreters are so green, I couldn't set them on fire with petrol.

These are not isolated incidents, they occur every time we try to purchase parts, from $10.00 hoses, at $104.94 each, through to internal gearbox components that are second only to thermonuclear warheads in their capacity to annihilate all that surrounds them.

It is astounding that in this day of interstate air and road transport at least 6 times per day, you peanuts take 4 days to get a part across the country.

May I suggest you stop freighting the parts with Nissan transport vehicles as the 3 week delay in Nissan's 24 hour roadside assist is becoming too much for us to bear.

I could elaborate further on the complete frustration I feel from trying to keep this bus on the road safely. Suffice to say, the bus driver now has a firm belief in the afterlife and we haven't ruled out danger money for the position.

Don't get me wrong, I could handle the first 35 instances of being fucked around, (the apologetic kiss from customer support was always welcome). Now that you've turned it into a bizarre form of sado-masochism complete with scratching and biting, I feel I have to complain......

I look forward to discussing every single frustrating event of the past 8 months with you.

I sincerely hope you cunts never build planes.

Yours in utter amazement,

Jarrod Byrne

CC:

Mr John Costello - Manager, Fleet and Special Markets, Nissan, Australia

Mr Bruce Anderson - Mine Manager, Normandy Mining

Mr Ian Bird - U/G Manager, Normandy Mining

Mr Dean Hughes - U/G Maintenance Engineer, Normandy Mining

Ms Jan Evans - Site Secretaray, Normandy Mining

Mr Robert Whiting - Purchasing Officer, Normandy Mining

Mr Andrew Moses - Owner, Holleton Earthmoving

Mr Peter Cue - Owner, Workforce Plant Hire

Mr Harvey King - Regional Manager, Monadelphous

Mr Alex Cooper - Divisional manager, Monadelphous

Mr Ray Miller - Tech. Support Supervisor, Monadelphous

Mr Rex Andrews - Chief Purchasing Officer, Monadelphous

Mr Eddy Lok - Mechanical Supervisor, Monadelphous

Mr John Eckhart - Fabrication Supervisor, Monadelphous

Mr Patrick McKenna - State Contracts Manager, Atlas Copco

Mr Ted Cordina - Perth Service Manager, Atlas Copco

Mr Gerry O'Connor - Contracts Supervisor, Atlas Copco

Mr Alec Tyrell - Contracts Supervisor, Atlas Copco

Mr Michael gant - Workshop Supervisor, Perth Atlas Copco

AND

EVERY PERSON I TALK TO BETWEEN NOW AND WHEN I GET SOME SATISFACTION